THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize
