I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
