just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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