what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
