dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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