she kept yelling 'call me bella'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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