Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
