he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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