You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
