It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
