He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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