YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
