that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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