im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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