i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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