One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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