operation harelip BJ is a go
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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