Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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