I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
