there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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