i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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