I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
