I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Randomize
