in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe