This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
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I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
This baby is an asshole
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own