Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
