This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
