So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
