You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
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I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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