You just made me feel so damn special
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
