ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
