:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
