You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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