nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
