remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize