it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Are we still banned from the library?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
