she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
