i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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