shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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