Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
