you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize