how can u be prego again
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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