you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
