wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
