Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He kissed a someone with a penis
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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