i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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