i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
