Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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