I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
