Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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