that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
