Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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