If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Less talking, more tequila
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
