This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
