Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
