my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
