We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
