I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
