My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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